Law & Order

You guys, you know how you've worn work clothes all day and when you get home you just do not want to feel like that anymore? Well, I do. So when I'm home from work, errands, etc., I will just put on whatever. As I described in a recent post, my outfit as of late has been a strapless swimsuit cover-up. I mean, whatever. The cat doesn't care.

So tonight I was sitting here watching TV, and all of a sudden my door is being beaten down. I'm really not exaggerating. So I am naturally like, what the fuck? And I sneak up on my door and look out the peephole. I live on the second floor. In the stairwell, I see some guy standing there, peering around the corner. Um. I'm not answering that door. So the beating starts again. I kind of look toward the other corner, and I see another guy. And his uniform. And his badge.

Hello, officers.

So I'm torn because obviously I need to open the door, but on the other hand I AM WEARING A STRAPLESS BATHING SUIT COVER-UP. But it seems as if I have no choice, because these guys are calling some shit in to the dispatch on their radios. So I opened the door and was like, "Hi ..."

To make a long story short, they were looking for someone named Erin Drummond, and coincidentally I had just gotten her Target coupons yesterday, so I told them that she apparently used to live here and I just moved in. They took my license and wrote some stuff down. I apologized for my lack of clothing, and they were OK with it. I asked what the fuck was going on, and they said they had a warrant for her arrest. Lovely.

Yall? Maybe the lesson I've learned here tonight is that maybe one SHOULD wear pants after 5 p.m. Maybe.

Or maybe Erin Drummond should just turn her bad self in.