Things that get on my nerves: A list

Really, I could go on forever. But here are a few:

* People who misuse the word "dilemma." Dilemma does not mean "problem." A dilemma is a choice between two things, both of which have a negative outcome. For example: I could express my annoyance with people who misuse the word "dilemma" and seem like a complete grammar dork (negative) OR I could leave things unsaid and have to cringe every time I hear it misused (negative). Get it?

* You know when you go to the grocery store and there are automatic doors? And some of them say "enter" and some of them say "DO NOT ENTER" but when you walk by them they all open? That annoys the fuck out of me. If you're not supposed to enter those doors, then they shouldn't open. For realz.

* The spell check on my BlackBerry. It recognizes "LOL" but not "haha." Dear BlackBerry: When I write "haha" I do not mean "hash" or "hag" or God forbid "ha ha." Get with the times, electronic device.

* My mailbox. Why can I never unlock it on the first try? Why? One time I even attempted to unlock it with the automatic thingy for my car. I know. Yall? This is why I don't need to live in an apartment with mailboxes that lock.

* Drivers who do not know how to merge. I know, this is nothing new. But seriously? If you're merging onto the interstate, DO IT. Signal, and come the hell on over. I yell, "Grow a pair and get the fuck over!" more than I really need to. It exhausts me.

* On Twitter, people/organizations who tweet a link, and only a link. I need SOME SORT of explanation or description. I'm not clicking on your ill-explained link, tweeps. I'm just not.

* Netflix. I love you. I do. But when I wait for two days to get my True Blood DVD, and it has only two episodes, I am totally not happy. I know, it's my fault, and maybe I should sign up to get more than one DVD at a time, but these are tough times, and I'm just not going to do that. Two episodes? Really?

* Shirtless drivers. The only time you are allowed to drive shirtless is if you are at the beach COMING back FROM the beach, OR in some (limited) circumstances, coming back from a pool somewhere. Not just because it's hot. NO. PUT ON A SHIRT.

* Finally, douchebags. This is definitely an evergreen topic, but I have a specific incident for yall that just happened today. So I was sitting outside a bar with my sister having some beers and lunch, and a car drove by, and the guy in the backseat had a cardboard sign that said, "Show us your tits." Yall? It was 2:30 p.m. Sunday. And it was not Mardis Gras or anything like that. I wasn't offended by this, because obviously I'm not offended by much, but I just think it was stupid. That's all. It just didn't make any sense. They were driving a Dodge Charger for crying out loud.