Let's just get down to it ...
SOUR: This morning, I dropped both my mascara and my moisturizer in the toilet. On separate occasions. As in, my mascara fell in, I got it out, washed it off and put it away. Then my moisturizer fell in. It was at this point I decided I needed to close the toilet seat.
SWEET: I have real-life, legal, indoor Internet coming to my apartment on Thursday!!! No more Alice buffet for the mosquitos! No more melting in the hot sun! No more squinting to see the screen!
SOUR: This morning, I apparently forgot how to walk in heels.
SWEET: Only two more days till Tom Petty! Alice and Diane will return to Verizon without fear of losing their tickets. Well. I guess Diane has literally lost her ticket already, but no matter. We'll get in.
SOUR: Boys who upset my friends (and me, as well, of course). It seems to be an epidemic. Global warming, energy crisis, asshole boys.
SWEET: Hump Day is once again upon us. Tonight, I will celebrate.
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3 comments:
Yes, asshole boys are a big, BIG, BIG SOUR. Sadly this comment box doens't let me change my text size. But that last "BIG" should be read in 72 sized font.
Good thing there wasn't a sign from God in that toilet when you made those drops!
Diaaaaaaaaaaaaaane. Ewwwwww. This book is nuts!
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